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Can I talk about planets now?

  • 26. November 2015

Can I talk about planets now? This stuff, or whoever sent it, is cleverer than we are. Unfortunate, isn’t it? When this is all over, you can find a shoulder to cry on. But for now, you need me. Jamie, remind me to give you a lesson in tying knots, sometime. Your hips are fine, you’re built like a man! Physician, heal thyself. Doctor no more. Think about me when you’re living your life one day after another, all in a neat pattern.

Think about the homeless traveller and his old police box, with his days like crazy paving.

That’s the trouble with regeneration. You quite never know what you’re going to get. What do you think it is, a space helmet for a cow? So these are my replacements. A dandy and a clown. You don’t understand so you find excuses. Well, my Doctorate is purely honorary and Harry is only qualified to work on sailors. When this is all over, you can find a shoulder to cry on. But for now, you need me. Right! So stop dilly-dallying, and cross it! It was on the planet Skaro that my old enemy the Master was finally put on trial. They say he listened calmly as his list of evil crimes was read… and sentence passed. Then he made his last and I thought somewhat curious request. He demanded that I, the Doctor, a rival Timelord, should take his remains back to our home planet, Gallifrey.

I might’ve been saying something important. I was saying something important! Smith. Doctor John Smith. Not allowed? Not allowed? Me, I’m allowed everywhere. You’ve had this place redecorated, haven’t you? Hmm, don’t like it. There are fixed points throughout time where things must stay exactly the way they are. This is not one of them. This is an opportunity! Whatever happens here will create its own timeline, its own reality, a temporal tipping point. The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good!

We’re trying to defeat the Daleks, not start a jumble sale! Your ideas are too narrow and crippled. I am a citizen of the universe and a gentleman to boot. A tear, Sarah Jane? No, don’t cry. While there’s life, there’s… Goodbye, Clara. Brave heart, Clara. Have a jelly baby. There are fixed points throughout time where things must stay exactly the way they are. This is not one of them. This is an opportunity! Whatever happens here will create its own timeline, its own reality, a temporal tipping point. The future revolves around you, here, now, so do good!

Why can’t you leave me alone?! There’s something that doesn’t make sense. Let’s go and poke it with a stick. Are you capable of speaking without flapping your hands about? I think it’s time to find your Achilles heel, or should I say – flipper. You need to get yourself a better dictionary. When you do, look up ‘genocide’. You’ll find a little picture of me there, and the caption’ll read ‘Over my dead body’. Have a jelly baby. I’d call you a genius, except I’m in the room. Excellent. Blow up that vehicle.

Clara, I’m not your boyfriend. I never said it was your mistake. It seems you have a very large rat Brigadier—maybe you should employ the services of a very large cat? Jamie, remind me to give you a lesson in tying knots, sometime. You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can’t spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That’s the curse of the Time Lords. Eh? Doctor who? What’s he talking about…? This thing is smaller on the inside than it is on the outside. Have faith, Brigadier. Have I ever led you astray?

The waves of time wash us all clean. What?! Come out. And don’t touch anything! That’s a relief. I hate babysitters. Jo, did you fail Latin as well as science? When this is all over, you can find a shoulder to cry on. But for now, you need me. We all have a universe of our own terrors to face. Clara, I’m not your boyfriend. I never said it was your mistake. Please tell me I didn’t get old. Anything but old. I was young! Oh… is he grey? I’m Scottish. I can complain about things now. I can really complain about things now.

Pure mathematics can not lie! Ricky, if I was to tell you what I was doing to the controls of my frankly magnificent timeship, would you even begin to understand? Have faith, Brigadier. Have I ever led you astray? One day, just one day, maybe I’ll meet somebody who gets the whole ‘don’t wander off’ thing. An unintelligent enemy is far less dangerous than an intelligent one…. Small though it is, the human brain can be quite effective when working at full efficiency, not unlike myself! Please tell me I didn’t get old. Anything but old. I was young! Oh… is he grey?

Oh, yes. Harmless is just the word: that’s why I like it! Doesn’t kill, doesn’t wound, doesn’t maim. But I’ll tell you what it does do: it is very good at opening doors! The past is another country. 1987’s just the Isle of Wight. It is! It’s the city of New New York! Strictly speaking, it’s the fifteenth New York since the original, so that makes it New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New-New New York. You see when I started, all those years ago, I was just running. I called myself the Doctor but it was just a name. Then I went to Skaro. And I met you lot. And I understood who I was.

Why can’t you leave me alone?! Oh, the pointing again! They’re screwdrivers! What are you going to do? Assemble a cabinet at them? Frightened people. Give me a Dalek any day. For some people, small, beautiful events are what life is all about! Come along, Pond! Please tell me I didn’t get old. Anything but old. I was young! Oh… is he grey? Safety precaution. I’m allergic to certain gases in the praxis range of the spectrum. If the gas is present, the celery turns purple… I eat the celery. If nothing else, I’m sure it’s good for my teeth.

Thanks to Doctor WHO Ipsum Generator for this generated text above.